I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
