Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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