She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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