I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
