I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
