Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
