I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
