Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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