fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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