dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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