that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
