Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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