I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
