I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
