I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
