Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
