Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize