; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
