He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
