A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
