would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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