we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
