We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
