Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
