best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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