thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
