Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
