that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
