So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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