didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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