Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Is it penis luge time yet?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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