Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
