We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
