its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
