I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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