Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
