Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
