My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
