i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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