This girl is more easily done than said...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
