yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
