I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
