Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
