Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize