I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize