Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I love having hate sex.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
