So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
