how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
