Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
