sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She bit a glass in half.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
