i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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