i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
