not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
