farters have to be the big spoon...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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