so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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