I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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