i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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