Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
