used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
