if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
