the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
