I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
